Ok I am not going to write an essay here but I did have a bit of free time on my hands today and was in a mood where I really needed a laugh. So I researched a few of my favorite humor friends and thought I’d put all my favorite funny sayings right here. If you are in need of a good laugh read on.

The Most Humorous Quotations I Found

Because I am in the t-shirts with funny sayings business I thought I would start with humorous tee shirts. Now it really depends on the individual but I am a guy, slightly overweight, 46 years old, with an appreciation for humor. My point here is when you choose to purchase funny sayings printed on t-shirts you really need to know the person who is going to wear it. Otherwise your funny t-shirt may not be so well received. T-shirts are my favorite humorous apparel to give and receive. You can also expand your shirt apparel into humorous sweatshirts.

If I was me (and I am) here are the sayings on funny t-shirts I like best.

My Favorite Funny T-shirt Sayings

  • Who’s your daddy?
  • LOL, OMG, WTF
  • Breast Awareness week…we stare because we care
  • Pity Sex (set in the MasterCard logo) gladly accepted
  • Old woman says to the old man “Hey, lover boy you dropped a Viagra on the floor

A Few Good Old Sayings

You know how there are always common old sayings thrown into a conversation that get your attention such as “you win some, you lose some” or “Holy Smokes”. In the next 60 seconds I am going to enter as many good ole’ wise sayings that I can think of, ready?

Brain Dump 60 Second Brain Dump

  • Live and Learn
  • Practice makes perfect
  • What you become has consequences!
  • Treat people the way to want to be treated
  • Give em an inch they take a mile
  • Give em enough rope they’ll hang themselves
  • He who laughs last laughs longest

Sorry, time’s up and that’s all I could think of.

Memorable Humorous Quotes

There is a lot of good in the worst of all of us, sometimes when there’s too much bad a few humorous jokes or a humorous quotes from a humorous speaker can charge your day:

  • “Have no fear of perfection–you’ll never reach it.” - Salvador Dali
  • “People like you are the reason people like me take pills!” - Neva Faith Linn
  • “A hard man is good to find.” -Mae West
  • “Love makes the world go round? Not at all. Whiskey makes it go round twice as fast.” - Compton Mackenzie
  • “Don’t knock masturbation. It’s sex with someone I love.” -Woody Allen
  • “Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.” - Groucho Marx
  • “Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, and the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.” Tommy Cooper
  • “I find it rather easy to portray a businessman. Being bland, rather cruel, and incompetent comes naturally to me.” - John Cleese.

Cool Random Sayings to Say

What about sayings that seem to fit into anybody’s airspace? I think it’s a gift if you can pull random sayings into a conversation that somehow fit. My daughter’s friends nicknamed her Random Robyn because she has that ability. Random Sayings like “it’s only life why take it so seriously”.

  • Life is too important to take seriously. (Corky Siegel)
  • The bureaucracy is expanding to meet the needs of an expanding bureaucracy.
  • Pro is to con as progress is to Congress.
  • I don’t like acting dumb i’m dumb naturaly.
  • I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not so sure.
  • Of course there’s no reason for it, it’s just our policy.
  • The universe does not have laws — it has habits, and habits can be broken.
  • I’m free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.
  • People like you are the reason people like me hate people.
  • People came from monkey’s? I think i came from Godzilla

A Humorous Motivational Speaker

Let your inner person come to the surface with the unique styles of humor that helps you get back in the groove. It can be life changing for your meeting keynote presentations. Listen to a humorous keynote speaker like video Roger Revak. Roger is a Funny, likeable, sincere guy with a unique talent for telling serious stories. He draws from life experiences including his brain tumor surgery. Oh ya and he write his own stuff.

You’ find good humor brings smiles to passersby a chuckle to your friends. There are graduation sayings and church sign sayings that will add excitement and make you explode in laughter.

Tags: random sayings, funny sayings, funny t-shirt sayings, old sayings, t-shirts with funny sayings, sayings on funny t-shirts, wise sayings, humorous apparel, Error humorous sayings, humorous keynote speaker, humorous speaker